The Alpha Woman & Love

Why men don’t see her as a keeper!

It’s no news that the world is rapidly changing; women are now taking the lead and becoming more independent; starting businesses, taking on board memberships etc. This change may have started like a mustard seed, but it is most definitely sweeping through the streets of our dear continent.

I did some interviews and research weeks ago on “The rise of the Alpha Woman” i.e the educated, strong and successful woman; the one who pushes the status quo, and attains positions society believes are reserved for men;

Yes the Feminist! the Non-Conformist!

In my findings I realized that most of the men acknowledged that Alpha women are extremely admirable and desirable; however in reality, they would stick to the simple basic woman with lesser ambitions, achievements and financial capability. Few men on other hand confirmed they would gladly go for an Alpha as a keeper.

So there are basically two camps of men; those who want the Alpha female and those who don’t; the later however outnumbers the former!

This raises an important question, why do most men admire the Alpha woman, but end up marrying a Beta….or less?

Are men intimidated by successful women?

a renounced dating couch answers this question from a man’s perspective. He states that all men are different, and to generalize an entire gender would be wrong. There will always be men, regardless of how much the times change, who hold up the male chauvinism glory days of the 1950s as the golden social model. But, for the most part, men are not intimated by strong and successful women. In fact, most men find these qualities very attractive and will brag to their friends and family about what a smart, great girl they have found.

If men are not actually scared of the Alpha woman, then why are they not the prioritized ones for marriage, considering their achievements and social standing?

Two kinds of women exist today: those who want power in the world, and those who want power in bed. Most women have become laser-focused on the former and have rejected the latter. In doing so, they’ve undermined their ability to find lasting love.

It is believed that a woman’s “Bed Power” has the potential to make or mare her relationship; bed power here focuses more on her attitude in the union than just plane sex.

Ambitious women are the Alpha at their jobs, they work hard and take on every responsibility to prove themselves worthy “I”. By default, these women bring in the same attitudes into relationships, wanting to takeover and fight for their rightful position. This fails for most of them because unlike work, relationships are not war zones where one has to proof who is better off. This confusion or ignorance of distinct differences between “World Power” and “Bed Power” leads most successful women to fail terribly at love and relationships.

“Men appreciate an accomplished, successful woman but don’t want to have to come home to a stressful, competitive environment after spending all day in a similar type of work environment”

To create healthy and long lasting relationships, Alpha women need to separate their work attitude from that of the relationship. At work they may be be the masculine boss, but back home they need to assume the feminine role. Contrary to some “feminist” beliefs, being feminine isn’t a bad thing or weakness, it is a blessing we all should embrace and be proud of. No man wants a nag; a woman who tells him what to do, or acts like his mother trying to control and have a saying in any and everything.

“A man wants a woman to work with, a compatible partner to submit to love with. Some women are hard-headed, know it alls, too independent and rigid to the point that the thought of having a home with them and living together is like inviting war. He wants no headaches but a woman he can reason with, compromise with, form a formidable team with” Dayan Masinde

“ In our relationships, we want to have equal input on situations showing that our opinions are valued. We want to feel that we are being listened to and understood. More importantly, we want to be allowed to make big decisions, even if we are just being humored” Why? Quite simply: Because we are men, and, well, we still want to feel like men!”

So…apart from not wanting a warrior at home, what else do men need that most Alpha women should take note of?

Unlike women with millions of wants, men need just these 3 basic things from a woman; Respect, Companionship and Sex, no matter her social or financial status.

The more women master these secrets, the higher the chances of building healthy & successful relationships.

1 — Respect

Feminism has empowered the woman to be independent, but it has also taught her to view men as weak and undeserving of respect and honor. This mentality has created a breed of women who resent and under-look men, even those they claim to love. To reinstate happy love lives, feminists most especially need to understand what men need and give it to them; with respect being a major priority.

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

and the Bible has been saying it for ages. Cracking the communication code between husband and wife involves understanding one thing: that unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret to marriage that every couple seeks, and yet few couples ever find.” Dr. Emerson Eggerichs,

2 — Companionship

Humans were never made to live in solitude, whether we acknowledge it or not, everyone needs companionship; be it from friends or family, and a man is no different.

Companionship is a vital connection with someone that provokes a sense of closeness; it’s a basic human need. And the more good relationships people have, the happier and healthier they tend to be. Companionship encourages mental stimulation and increases a person’s sense of purpose. Humans need each other; after study has proven this.

The best relationships are those in which the partners enjoy each others company, the bond and understanding in such unions is priceless. That’s what men seek!

“Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give”

Bertrand Russell

3 — Sex

gave a very apploadable response to a question on Quora which I think is worth sharing on this point.

“Do men view sex as merely a physical act with little or no emotional involvement? How rare is it for men to view sex as emotional?”

“For men, sex is a psychological need. If we’re not getting it, we feel unloved and deeply hurt.” It’s not that we’re after just the physical pleasure of sex. For men, sex is a *gateway* to deeper affection. It’s not the finish line. It’s where the process of love all starts. If you are in a committed sexual relationship with him, you will see his love for you grow. It may not start out as that mind-blowing experience you describe.

But it will get there. Yes, there are men who are only in it for the physical pleasure, and move on from partner to partner. But in your experience, you should be able to separate these men from those who are sincere about developing deeper affection with you. When you give yourself to him sexually, you must trust that this man will understand your commitment and reciprocate with feeling. Yes, you will have to risk rejection. Just as he risked rejection by choosing to involve himself with you before getting a sexual guarantee.”

“The roles may have changed, but the rules haven’t. All a good man wants is for his wife to be happy, and he will go to great lengths to make it happen...

What men want most of all is respect, companionship and sex. If you supply these basics, your husband will do anything for you — slay the dragons, kill the beast, work three jobs, etc. Men will happily do this if, and only if, they are loved well in return. It is when men are not loved well that problems arise. That is the nature of the male-female dance”

Suzanne Venker

In your opinion, what else can the Alpha woman do to improve on her relationship? Please share your views below!

Thanks for reading!

A one-time Business Developer who fell for writing — lover of life. Pursuing MA in Communication.*Ghostwriter, content creator: contact me: Twitter @joanamanwi