Self-Love: The Driving force of a Happy Healthy and Fulfilled life!

As kids growing up, we were exposed to outstanding stories of heroes, male and female alike; who were the driving forces behind the success of businesses, political reforms, religious and spiritual beliefs etc. Their tales and names resounded in our ears and hearts (some still do today), their bravery and resilience motivated us to aspire to be like and why not better than these icons.

Studying their stories and achievements, it is evident that there is one common denominator which they all had, got a grip of and it changed their lives forever, and placed them on the lines of history which can never be erased. Some people get this denominator earlier on in life, others in midlife, others at the end of their lives and some never do!

SELF is the denominator that drives the weary horse and wills the wind!

Whatever you do and where ever you are, there is one person who has the power to drive you to achieve everything you want and more! As Miles Monroe will say, whatever you want to achieve or believe can be done, starts from within, it starts with SELF!

The pillars of self are so strong that anyone who masters them properly is a sure candidate for outstanding success and will most often lead an healthy and happy life until he’s days are outnumbered.

Self confidence, self respect, self assurance, self assertiveness, self motivation,self value, self giving, self affirmation are the driving forces of a happy healthy and fulfilled life.

Self-love contains all of the above and it is most often mistaken for selfishness. Loving ones self is more important than loving others; wondering why? well as the saying goes “you can’t give what you don’t have” so how can you give out love freely if you don’t love the most important person in your life ….“YOU”!

Loving ones self entails making a conscious effort to put your happiness and well being above that of every other person. Loving ones self means making paving a path to willingly show love without expectations or limitations.

As simple as it can be put, self-love has to deal with;

self confidence

Many at times most people in power and high places don’t just get to that position due to intellectual ability, aptitudes, fraud as is most often believed. There is one common characteristics of most leaders and that is self confidence. Human beings are naturally attracted to confident and self assured personalities; no matter how smart you are, if you lack the confidence, few people will believe in you and your abilities.

However we have been made to understand that self confidence is bad, most people with is trait are called proud, arrogant and all what not. Well the truth is when people who don’t love themselves meet someone who does love themselves, they always consider the other person arrogant.

So next time when someone calls you arrogant and self absorbed, rub their backs and tell them about one trait which they missed out “self confidence and self love”. Never let your guard down and let others twist you into a sad person due to their misconceptions about you.

Self respect

This greatly has to do with honor and dignity and the ability to carry yourself in an appealing manner. Respect has different angles and most often people respect you based basic characteristics such as your intellect, mode of dressing, friends and so on.

As Miles Monroe will say and I quote “If you believe you are a diamond, you wont be with anyone, wear anything or go anywhere”. Anyone who respects his or herself has coin-sized values which are both morally and religiously esteemed.

What you wear, where you go, who you meet, the things you do has a lot to do with how much you value yourself. A man who values he’s health won’t smoke or indulge in any habit that is dangerous to he’s health, if you value your freedom you won’t get involved in criminal activities and the list goes on; self respect has to do with the amount of value you place on yourself.

self assurance

This is one of the most scary traits and most people who posses it are feared and sometimes hated. Self assurance if not properly handled can come forth as pride and egoism. Most self assured people don’t need anyone to tell them who they are or are not, they know what they want and how to get it.

Self assured people are bold, confident, believe in their abilities, are not afraid and they most importantly intimidate you!

When you are self assured, you can’t be easily manipulated and exploited. People with such traits generally scare away extortionists; they are feared by many and hatted by most.

self assertiveness

After looking at the definitions of self assertiveness and walking through a pool of negative definitions, this stoke me self assertiveness means to “Obtrusively energetic especially in pursuing particular goals!” (Merriam Webster).

That totally defines the characteristic of the worlds renounced heroes such as Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther etc. Most self assertive people come across as bossy and annoying which is most often irritating to those who don’t understand the importance of this trait and how far it has gotten most people.

Self assertiveness is great for those with big dreams and impossible conviction, it keeps them going even when all odds are against them. Such people believe they have something to offer so they offer it even without permission, they are not trying to be pushy; they just believed it was the right thing to do at that moment.

self motivation

Do you know that friend of yours who is he’s own cheerleader? he plays he’s drums, dances to he’s tunes and sings at the top of he’s voice during hes game. Yes that is what we call self motivation, No he is not crazy!

Most at times we need others to tell us things will get better and life isn’t all that terrible. However, it will be so relieving and mentally relieving to others (spouse, friends, parents etc) if we can just do that ourselves. This is a very important trait which we need to cultivate towards ourselves, it is easier to tell someone else “everything is going to be fine” but what do we tell ourselves at night?

Be your own cheer leader even when you are loosing because there will come a time when those cheering for you will lose hope; if you were too dependent on them, you will crash !

self value

This refers to the opinion you have about yourself and the value you place on yourself. An example of self worth is your belief that you are a good person who deserves good things or your belief that you are a bad person who deserves bad things.

The value people give to you is a reflection of the value you put on yourself! If you depreciate your value, no one will appreciate their value of you.

Who ever you are and in what ever you do, always value yourself highly. We have all heard of poor men who were treated better than kings, this is to say that value is not only in material possessions or places of power, it starts from within; accept it or not others can predict the value you put on yourself based on your daily activities, company etc.

Those with high self value place the value on their lives so high that they don’t come down to meet no one, the bring people up where they are, reason why most people at the top try their best to pull others up to their level and stay away from those who like to stay at the bottom.

self giving

A self giving person is an unselfish person; someone who puts others needs above his. But before you can be self giving towards others, you need to cultivate the attitude yourself.

You can only love your neighbor if you love your self, you can’t give me what you don’t have, self love provides you the equipment to give yourself to someone else without expecting anything in return. That is why Jesus died for us and we still turned our back and cursed him, self love can give itself without manipulating people.

self affirmation

Confirming one’s own worthiness and value as an individual for beneficial effect (such as increasing one’s confidence or raising self-esteem)Merriam Webster.

Any one can tell you how smart, beautiful, innovative you are and all what not, but if you don’t believe it, it is as good as nothing. Self affirmation has to do will believing you are worthy of great things and that all the attributes alluded to you were not just as flattery but you truly deserve it.

This is one of the most important traits in life which everyone has to master. You are not being self absorbed by believing you are smart and innovative, it not only boasts your self esteem, but also others image of you.

“when you love yourself you tell yourself you love yourself, you don’t ask others what they think, you congratulate yourself”

Miles Monroe

Ola! thanks for gliding through my thoughts, hope it was helpful! Do you have contrary views? I will love to hear them!

A one-time Business Developer who fell for writing — lover of life. Pursuing MA in Communication.*Ghostwriter, content creator: contact me: Twitter @joanamanwi